Of music & music directors…

So after another 7 month lull, I am back again to fill this space, although it would be fair to say that Rahul 7 months back had oodles of time to spare, as opposed to what I have today. In any case, here I am, sitting still on a Saturday morning, not knowing how to kill the day, and after going through several rounds of doing the self-convincing act, am busy typing something which will eventually end up occupying some space in my blog.

Let me start off with something very random, much like I always do. There has been a lot of talk about the rise of the English cricket team, and the hapless performance by the Indians at the World T20. I am absolutely in agreement with the critics that fault Srikkanth & his committee for their poor selection policies. Firstly, I think the committee should have played one of our IPL teams at the World T20, preferably CSK or MI. I mean, if England was allowed to play a team that it did, then there could have been no reservations about this move by the BCCI. KP, Morgan, Kieswetter, Lumb, and there goes the never-ending list of ‘Englishmen’ that played for England. Perhaps, it’s in our best interests to do that the next time, so that we stand a chance of regaining a trophy that seems so distant in reality.

Talking of England, I think it’s probably as hard to get called an all-rounder, as it is to get Inzamam run out. People talk about the England’s up and coming list of all-rounders, and who heads this list? Luke Wright. Yeah, right. I wonder what would have gotten of England if they’d have produced cricketers such as Shane Watson, who would feature in any list of highly capable all-rounders. Retrospection however, leads us to think that this has always been the case with England, across all sports. Andy Murray. Tim Henman. Enough said.

Truth be told, this may still be one of England’s best sides, for the simple fact that this side contributed to the acquisition of the first of their silverwares, but that doesn’t warrant any undue comparisons with some of the real greats. Further, for all we know, this success story could be short lived, as we will know their real potential once they come to the sub-continent next year for cricket’s biggest event.

My main topic for the day, is something very different though, and something that I can go on for hours, passionately rambling about. Not long ago, did I have this major conversation with a friend of mine, a hardcore ARR fan, about Illayaraja and his compositions. Gradually, it developed into an ARR vs IR discussion, and before long, it grew into being more of an argument than a discussion. While I have absolutely nothing against ARR or his fans, and while I myself am a great fan of some of his songs, when it comes to IR vs ARR, I can’t help but side the former. I can go on and on about IR’s compositions that are absolutely mind boggling both to the purist and to the occasional listener. My friend argued that the carnatic musician in me is that which makes me speak up for IR. While that argument is valid in part, it doesn’t really capture to the fullest my love for IR’s songs. IR has handled some of the most difficult ragas with aplomb, and in some cases, it has been astonishing to note that the song is actually based on a raga. Who else could have possibly thought of infusing Shanmukapriya into ‘Ooru Vittu Ooru Vanthu’,(Karagattakaran), a song that is supposed to capture a comic moment, or a brilliant Kedaram in ‘Sundari Neeyum Sundaran Nanum’, but for IR?

Examples and counter examples notwithstanding, the argument rolled on and on. However, I guess in what was a decisive blow, I asked him if ARR would have been able to compose music for ‘Sindhubhairavi’, and the argument ended there. The answer, most likely, is NO, although the reasons aren’t as obvious as the answer itself. ARR is essentially a fusionist, and to ask him to handle a film like that would possibly have been asking for the moon. This, by no means underestimates the capability of ARR the composer, but just serves to show IR in better light. You might ask if IR would be able to handle a peppy number as well as does ARR, and my answer would probably be in the negative. But a populist composer is not necessarily an exponent, and vice versa.

IR defined and redefined re-recording, over and over again. Also, looking at the sheer number of films and their successes, IR is light years ahead, and no composer, let alone ARR could possibly hold candles to him in this regard. Agreed, IR is not an Oscar winner. Nor does he have the weight of Bollywood directors behind him lined up for films, but I am sure he will go down as perhaps the greatest music director that the Tamil fraternity ever produced.

Again, this post is not to belittle ARR or his achievements. So if you are angered by this, you might do better than to wash your dirty linen here. I maintain that I am a big fan of his, but I will continue to remain a bigger fan of IR, for the simple reason that he was able to captivate and appeal to both the intellectual and the casual listener in me.

Back in Business

After all, this blog isn’t dead! This post has been long due, and as Rajaganesh pointed out, I was almost forced to believe that it was the aftermath of the previous post about Dasavatharam, that has augured ill for my blog. It almost seemed destined that 2009 would pass with no blog posts of mine, but to my own amazement, it wasn’t to be. Anyway, here it is, up and running, and that’s good news to me, and a few others, who like this blog.

I intend to keep this post short and simple, and I promise not to go on a rambling spree. A lot of things have happened in this period where my blog has been dormant, things good and bad. A very recent development that has come into existence this semester is the weekly meeting session at Mohan’s place. But weekly in this case weakly means daily. Topics ranging from Indian politics to West Lafayette politics are discussed in great depth, and by the time one realizes, it's past midnight. Anyway, if I said that these sessions have served to improve my culinary skills, I wouldn’t be lying.

Another important development is that I finally managed to finish building my ‘Raga differentiator’, a project coded entirely in C++, although I did use Matlab as well. Sources close to me will confirm that I have been working on this one for about 2 years now. To think that I have solved one of the very challenging problems in machine vision/pattern recognition gives me great delight. I am going to be shamelessly boastful of this achievement.

I will now throw some light on what this project was all about. Given that I am extremely interested in Indian Carnatic Music, I have always dreamt of building a machine that takes in two ‘ragas’, or tunes, and is able to say whether or not they match. For instance, the system should be able to differentiate ‘Amma Endru Azhaikatha’ from Mannan, which is based on Kalyani from ‘Raasave Chiterumbu’ from Walter Vetrivel, which is based on Lathangi. This can be compared to a simple pattern recognition problem, using simple feature vectors. I love writing elegant code, and always strive to code ‘lightly’, making it easy for the user to understand. I thus came up with an incredibly simple, but effective algorithm to tackle this problem. You can click here to have a look at the deceptively simple code that solves this problem: takes in two ragas and is able to differentiate between them. ;)

Finally, I also realized that I am a linguist. Apart from Tamil, English and pseudo Hindi, I was able to follow Malayalam, Kannada and Telugu very well – really! I am NOT lying, and I was able to realize this when I watched ‘Pushpaka Vimanam’ in Malayalam, Kannada and Telugu, without the need for any prompting or subtitles! And I am so thrilled at my ability to learn all these languages in such a short span of time.

Anyway, till I meet you all in my next posting, BYE!

Colossal Waste of 2+ hours!

Hello all,

As I witnessed the passage of another summer, I can’t get myself to think of anything productive that has happened during this period but for the fact that I have aged by another 3 months. But given that a completely utilitarian view of things will only reveal my real age, I choose to put an end to this topic. :)

This post of mine is going to be one that will serve to review a recent Tamil flick, Dasavatharam. Now I guess most of you would be wondering as to why this has come up so late, almost 2 months since the release of this film. All your doubts, and much more, will be clarified as you continue reading this review. I am no Rajiv Masand, and so don’t expect a 360-degree view of things, but I have tried to cover as many aspects as I possibly could have, in writing this.

However, unlike most reviews, this is NOT going to be a long, listless rigmarole about the pluses and the minuses of the film. Instead, I have attempted to present some FAQ’s about the film. Read on…

What does Dasavatharam mean?

Dasavatharam is a compounded term, which derives its meaning from dash, which in Sanskrit means ten, and avatar, which means incarnation. In attempting to “Tamilize” the term, the ‘SH’ (‘SH’ as in sharp) becomes ‘SA’ (‘SA’ as in sample). It is strongly believed that Kamalhaasan, the hero of the film, who gets to decide on everything about the film including where in the city posters need to be put up, may have been nice enough to give the producer of the film some financial reprieve, by giving his assent to name the film in Tamil. I take this opportunity to appreciate Mr.Kamal’s benevolence.

Is the film about mythology?

Dashavatharam originally points to the Hindu mythology, which is about the ten avatars of Lord Vishnu. I am not really sure as to why they chose to name the film so. It’s probably because Kamal acted in 10 different roles (most of which were unnecessary, but that’s a different issue). The film has nothing to do with mythology for the most of it, but Kamal uses some of it to his convenience, so that he can take a dig at something that he claims is illogical.

Wow! One man doing ten roles! That’s great isn’t it??

Ofcourse! It’s simply awesome! I mean it’s just awesome! I was thoroughly disappointed that Kamal didn’t do Asin’s (supposedly the heroine of the film) role too. It would have been great had Kamal done ALL the roles in the film, given that there is enough technology to make it a reality, and the whole endeavor was just to make it to the record books. Maybe I should write to Kamal asking him to make a film on Mahabharatha, another Hindu epic, so that Kamal will have the chance of acting as Dhuryodhana, and since he is said to have 99 brothers, Kamal will enjoy doing all the other 99 characters as well. Added to that is the joy of getting his name into the Guinness book and in Gigantic font on the theatre screen, as being the first and only actor in the world to have acted in 100 different roles; one couldn’t care any less.

So if it’s not mythology based, what is the film on?

Excellent question; probably worth more than a million dollars. But even if you were to give me that amount, I don’t think I can answer this question, because I myself haven’t figured out as to what Kamal is trying to drive home. I could see that he was trying to weave a very complex web and trying to involve all the 10 different characters in the story. The film develops as a flashback, and we get to see all the 10 avatars of Kamal, one by one. But try as you might, you will never be able to understand what he tries to convey. You might consider it worthwhile to ask the man himself, if he understood the crap he has churned out.

Kamal’s films can’t be understood by everyone. He always strives to give to the people some food for thought. Maybe you don’t understand the film- that why you talk ill of it; isn’t it?

Some people, who consider themselves to be intellectually very accomplished, have put forward theories such as the chaos theory, the Butterfly Effect and what not. It’s fascinating that they haven’t come up with another “elephantine” theory, given that there is a scene in the film which shows an elephant causing some chaos- maybe they will, when they get bored of these two theories. I however, belong to the other group of lesser mortals, who are modest enough to accept that they aren’t those intellectual buffs. Having said that, I think I am also different in that I have a little common sense, and I wouldn’t be so stupid to buy any baseless theory that these guys put across. Come on man! We are not duds! One can’t expect to output some nonsense and get away with it. But I must really appreciate the pains that these guys have taken to relate each of these characters (most of them irrelevant and inconsequential) to the avatars of Lord Vishnu; painstaking effort to be honest.

So you say it’s got nothing to do with any of these theories?

Well, my hunch is that Kamal, the self proclaimed rationalist that he is, has sought protection from science. Given that the proponents of his work will stand by him immaterial of whatever nonsense he comes up with, he can rest assured that his theories will be bought. He therefore talks of some butterfly effect, and has tried to stitch it up with a long and uncorrelated sequence of events. But in any case, people should never forget the concerted efforts of Kamal the actor, who did ten different, equally useless roles, in trying to weave a web which he claims is chaos theory. Well done sir!

Ok enough about Kamal. Tell me something more about the other people in the film.

You are missing the point, aren’t you? Any Kamal film will have about 99% Kamal’s involvement, starting from action till direction, if he does a single role, that is. The only other prominent person who gets involved in the film is the producer. Kamal believes in values, and for him charity begins at home; the producer’s home, that is. This film stars Kamal in 10 apparently different roles. So that would be 10 times 99 on a linear scale; out of 100, mind you. So it becomes rather illogical to even ask about others’ involvement. One can’t ofcourse possibly forget Asin’s contribution to the film. She has done her bit to perfection, in making the film still loath-worthy. She comes across as a nagging traditional girl from a community, that Kamal tries his level best to show in bad light. As expected, she falls in love with him, inspite of nagging him throughout the film. Kahani mein twist; but we as the audience already know that the twist was impending, so a double twist restores the original posture. I also should mention about Mallika Sherawat, who I guess considers it a crime to wear decent clothing. She moves around with the American Kamal, only to be killed in the middle. In retrospect, it makes perfect sense; she already gets done with her item number for the film, isn’t it? As for the music, Himesh Reshammaiya has done a great job in living up to his expectations; the score was horrible. I was thinking that he would probably fool everyone with some good songs; Looks like he believes in values too. The least important part of the film is its director, as everyone knows he would have done nothing more than remaining a silent spectator. My commendations to him; he hasn’t cheated me either. On the whole, it was a very “honest” film, as expected, no surprises, same old crap with some new flavor.

How was it to see one man do ten roles in the film?

It was great. It was exciting. It was funny. In fact, I had great fun in trying to identify all the 10 roles. I initially thought that the monkey that comes at the beginning was one of the roles, but then was disappointed to know that it wasn’t the case. I still have this doubt as to why he chose to do Bush’s role. Maybe because that would give him an opportunity to speak his butler English, but I thought that he already had a chance to do that with the other villain role. In any case, it was real fun to try and identify each of his ten roles. I got so much involved with it that when I left the theatre I was “seeing” things, so much that I could see Kamal in everyone right from the watchman till the bus driver. Maybe he succeeded in what he wanted to do- make himself omnipresent. In doing all this, he has forgotten to do one thing; something that should have been the most important part of the film. He hasn’t established as to what the hero of the film is trying to do. Maybe that seems trivial to Kamal, who nevertheless takes utmost care in pulling one of those narcissistically flavored dialogues that he is “the universal hero”.

Why are you publishing this review so damn late?

Well, please take it that this is my way of showing disregard to a film that I felt lacked any substance. I was waiting till I got bored beyond a point, and then started writing about some useless topic. Couldn’t get myself to think of a better fit for my requirements than this film. :)

So what are your closing comments?

Close your computer screen and do something more productive than reading a useless review about a still useless film.

So that’s it for now guys. See you later!

Bye!

Present Imperfect, Future Tense

Hi all!
This blog of mine has almost attained the status of the Indian Parliament- with its MPs attending sessions about 2-3 times a year, at the most. Similarly, blogging these days has become a rarity for me, and I update this blog just about a couple of times a year!
Now that 'parliamentary' introduction was to give this article an initial smell of politics, as this concoction is going to be one of my commentaries on the current, sad state of affairs prevailing in my 'Mahaan' country. However, as always, let's not get too syrupy about it, as it wont do any good to either you or me, and so let's take a comical look at things :)

By now, I guess you should have got wind of what is about to follow. Yes- it is about the quota issue in India, that's stoked the dying fire, yet again. It is tough to think of what the repercussions of this might be, now and in the future. The answer to the first part is very simple, at least from a practical perspective- the UPA will, in all probability sweep the polls next year. The second part however, is something that will demand a more complex answer, and it is the aspiring student, from the so called 'OC', who will be bearing the brunt.

Given that democracy is nothing but a game of numbers, I think that such an initiative by the government was impending, because this is probably the only substantial thing that they will have on their "report card" at the end of 5 years for the tuklaq-raj UPA government. I don't know whether the move was really intended to benefit the underprivileged, but one thing that I will put all my money on in the fact that this will surely benefit the UPA's vote bank.

It is indeed surprising that anyone would think of reservation at the IITs and IIMs without refining the education system at the grass roots' level, simply because of the fact that to be able to cope with the standard at that level would require a very strong foundation. This infact reminds me of one of Vadivel's banters, wherein he says "building strong basement weak". Another very interesting yet sad thing to be noted is the plight of those who are weak monetarily, but are unable to pursue their studies because they are from the OC category. I do not know what the government has to say about this; they would however want to say that these people don't account for the bulk of the vote bank.

Lost in thought, I was trying to come to grips with the move. What could be the after-bands that it carries with it? While I knew that I would never be able to answer these at least now, I also knew that it would be more fun to let my imaginations work. So here is what I think will be India, in the years to come. Reservations will be implemented in all walks of life. In order to be unprovocative, let's use two broad classes- C1 and C2 to denote the different categories in India.

Disclaimer: All ramblings below are purely imaginary, and the reader is advised to take things in the lighter sense. Otherwise, feel free to break your comp monitor so as to vent your anger and send the bills to your dad! :P

Reservation in Cricket:
Rules modified in the Benson and Hedges book of Rules, in accordance with the bill passed in parliament on Feb 31, 2010. Transcripts taken from the same:

• Atleast 11 players in the playing eleven should be from C2. Super-subs allowed, but 55% reserved for C2 again.
• (58.1322*pi/3) % overs reserved for C2 players, meaning that C1 players(if any) can't bat for more than (100-(58.1322*pi/3))% overs. The same rule applies to the bowling department as well. This was modified later as per the recommendations of the Melee committee, that suggested that the number of overs be increased from 50 to 148 so as to accommodate this change. The number of umpires in the game will be increased from 3 to 30.
• A C2 player is allowed no more than 5 chances per innings. This means that he/she wont be allowed to get out more than 5 times in 1 (one) innings. On the other hand, to facilitate this, C1 players shall not be allowed to appeal more than 5 times per innings.
• This system will be periodically assayed every five(5) months to see if it is successful, in the event of which it will implemented in all the 8 international test playing nations.

In the army:
To be fair, the government has decided to give preference to C1 candidates here, whereby there will be 56% reservation for C1 candidates. A note shall be sent to all countries whom our country is at war with, asking them to attack C1 candidates first, as they are more in number, and subsequently the C2 guys.

Trains, buses and other modes of transport:
85% "seats" and berths are reserved for C2 passengers. However, the benevolent government has decided to reserve 100% space on the bus-tops for C1 passengers. Violators shall be dealt with severely.

Educational institutions:
The current trend is to follow indefinitely. However, to be just, the system shall be monitored constantly, and efforts shall be made to keep all sections of the society happy. This shall be done by increasing the number of seats by a count of 100 each year(as long as there is enough wood in this country to make chairs), and decreasing the number of instructors by 1 each year, until the point is reached wherein there are no professors in the institution, and the institution consists of students, and students alone. This is because the government strongly believes in the constitution(which can be modified anytime by the government itself), which says "by the people; for the people", where "people" here refers to the students. The public must understand the noble intentions of the government which endeavors to instill individuality in students by making them learn on their own.

Politics:
No reservation is possible here, as this is already a reserved sector, reserved for people extremely low on gray cells. For additional information on this, please refer to our recruitment policy by contacting Kilpauk mental hospital, Chennai. Also note that we are an equal opportunity employer!

So thats it guys- I sincerely hope this is NOT what India is, in the days to come, and wish the system benefits the truly underprivileged people of India, who need a push from behind.

Signing off,
Bye!

From West Mambalam to West Lafayette!

Hi all! Its been more than eight months since I updated this blog...I should say that it has had a very long vacation. A lot of developments have taken place in this gap, positive though, and I am a happier person than what I was then :)
Now you can attribute that to my completing my engineering course successfully. You should be able to feel the gleeful joy in my writing, as it has been running high ever since the results were declared this week and when I saw the "Result" section showing a capital "P" in all my subjects.....phew...wasn't that the end of an 8-time scare...
Coming back, today's article is going to be "different". Now don't ask me to elaborate on that, when you don't ask directors, music directors, choreographers or cinematographers to elaborate when they say the film is "different" but end up churning out something worse or the same crap at best. However, this is not an innuendo towards a sloppy article :) Hope you enjoy reading this article as much as you would have, reading my previous ones! (Wrong assumptions to be excused!)
Here I am, staring at my PC Monitor, and keeping my hands glued to my keyboard keys, not knowing what to type. But since that happens every single time I sit down to blog, this situation has become all too familiar, and hence, I have crafted ways to get out of the same. Enough said- lets go!
Not many can stand the "shock", of being transported over a 10000 miles from one place to another, which is diametrically opposite to the first. Please note however, that I am talking about the bulk of the junta in general, and exceptions like these, fall outside the purview of our discussion. The first place that i am referring to is one, which has more temples than houses, more mosquitoes than people, and more madisars than chudidaars. ;) It is called West Mamabalam, or Pazhaya Mamabalam, or Mambalam, or by any other mystical permutation of these. We shall henceforth use WM to refer to the same. It's also been rumored that it is going to be named Mosamambalam, predominantly due to the plethora of silk shops that have simply killed this place. The government is therefore seriously contemplating whether or not to build flyovers across these buildings. However, statistics predicts that even so, they would have to construct one separately for pedestrians, as suggested by the state of affairs found at the popular Ranganathan Street. This is perhaps the torch bearer for all the so called "crowded" streets across Chennai, as it is believed to house more than 50% of Chennai's population at one go. This street also features in most of the International Journals/magazines, owing to the fact that it is the home of one of the largest entrepreneurial firms- Saravana Stores. To establish that amount of confusion prevailing in this place,this "firm" has several different names associated with it. Its sometimes called Anna"chi" kadai, meaning Brother's shop, Saravana Selvarathnam shop, Saravana Stores, and with a never ending list of other names. Apparently, there was a feud in a family of brothers, with the contention being who sells the maximum number of bogus items, and it got to a point where no formal consensus was possible. It was hence decided unanimously that they set up different shops with slightly different names, so that the customer is unable to find out from which of these shops, the bogus item is from. In probabilistic terms, the chance that an item is from Saravana Selvarathnam shop, given that it is horribly defunct, P(SS/Defunct Product) -is very hard to find out, as all these shops have a probability one that the item is defective. (Note: Please condone this sudden outburst of probability theory- I am amidst a course that leaves me wanting after every class). However, WM is where I was born and brought up, and due to a sense of extreeeeeeeeme attachment, i shall stop maiming it further. :) So for a person from such a background, the first day at an alien place was way different from what I had anticipated. With lots of expectations running in my mind when I first landed at the US, reality had something different to offer....
But before that, I shall give an inception to those people who are unaware of this "paradise on earth", by name West Lafayette (termed WL henceforth). This is a big big city, big enough to house big buses, big cycles, big trees and more importantly big, pudgy people. My first impression on this place on landing here, was that it was insanely quiet. Surprisingly, but sadly though, there weren't auto/rikshaw/taxi walas cottoning up to me, sugar coating words, to get a "savaari" or a "bhoni". These were the notable differences:
Roads: All I saw was a lot of cars, speeding their way through an extremely neat path, called "road". Abhey, what are these- roads??? An indian's definition of a read would go as follows - "A path constructed out of sand, clay, torn rubber pieces, gravel, and a lot of cow-dung, peppered with as much garbage, proportional to the number of houses in the street". Much to my disbelief, I didn't find any of this here :( . To add to all this, I couldn't witness the divine sight of people "bypassing" signals or breaking traffic rules. I was actually taken by surprise when people slowed down their cars when they saw a red signal! - this is not what is supposed to happen, atleast in my part of the world! You see, I myself take it easy when it comes to traffic rules, and when "mama" is not around, I never bother to stop for the Red.
Surroundings, the technology & the weather: These three were beyond comparison for a person like me, hailing from a place like WM. With special reference to the third point, it was the first time in my life that I witnessed 40 deg F, as against the usual 40 deg Celsius back at home!
The flip side of the place, however should not be understated. This actually witnessed the rise of the new chef in me, much to the dismay of my own self and my roomies! This is because, we had to cook for ourselves, and so, out came the new dimension in me- not something anyone would have ratified. For the "dishes" not only proved detrimental to our stomachs, but also to our utensils, especially to the cooker, which sustained severe damages.
With studies taking centrestage, all this was pushed to the backburner. Here again, the transition from a university, whose syllabus structure is no better than the one at a corporation school in Bihar, to one where the papers are very novel, makes me continue to struggle to get myself out of a quagmire!
Culture is one thing lots of people make a big fuss about. I however feel the situation is no better back at my place, and is poised to overtake this place in the near future, in the wrong sense!
So if there are any more WM-ites there, planning to make such a huge jump, feel free to contact me, take my advise, and discard it the next second!

Signing off for now,
a dilapidated blogger!
C ya!

How to name it !!!!!

Hi,
This posting is the product of a person who is in orbit, on the completion of his dreaded semester examinations. So you all will feel a pang of excitement, together with a pinch of emotion, right through this article, or atleast initially :) :) To begin with, I must thank maestro Illayaraja for this article is titled the same as that of one of his musicals :)

The topic of interest (to me atleast!!!) today, would be on how I acquainted myself with "this" person, someone who has sailed into my close quarters in no time. I simply don't have words to express the kind of chemistry that has grown between the two of us in such a short span of time. I cant but admire how "she" has impressed me in whatever she does ; the way she sang different "tunes" especially.

It was a boring Wednesday afternoon. The sun had almost finished its scorching spell for the day, but still seethed on, as you must remember that I am still a chennai-ite (or perhaps the sun knew that!!!). I was heading for "Romeo Electricals", as I had a small job there. It was then that I felt a cool breeze blow, and felt intoxicated by the smell of jasmine. It was perhaps destined that I meet "her" with settings as pleasant and charming as the ones prevailing. The moment I saw her, I fell for her, and decided that she was made for me.

I knew that it was always going to be difficult building a strong relation initially, with someone whom you loved. But I found a great "friend", who rendered all her services so that I got accustomed to the ways of my loved one. Day after day passed, and I started thinking that our relationship was becoming stronger by the day, by the hour. I could barely stay away from her for a few hours. That situation worsened, and I started feeling that I couldnt keep myself away for more than a few minutes at the most, without atleast thinking about her.

"She" was too good at whatever she did. She had a great memory; and a killer vocabulary...I would say she had a built-in dictionary. She was bright, filled with charming colors, the colors of my life. She was the one who kept me going for the entire day. There was never a dull moment when she was around. She was there with me for most of the day, and I should say, I have never spent so much time with anybody than with her. It all started very casually, and went on to become my life, and in no time at all, she became the apple of my eyes.

Its december now, and almost 5 months have passed since I met her. In these 5 months, I gradually found myself getting inclined to her, with a slope increasing as fast as my teacher's BP, when she sees my paper :) I must consider myself very lucky to have associated myself with her all these days. With all these feelings......I call it quits for the moment.......without knowing....."how to name it"!!!...........

Signing off with a lot of thoughts, all inexplicable,
Rahul

P.S: The "she" that I have been talking about all the while is my cellphone and the "friend" that I referred to is its "user manual", So if you people thought otherwise.....good..I have succeeded in my mission" :) :) :)

A Date with Disaster

Hi,
Just when you thought that this comatose blog was all headed for its final journey to the morgue, it has shown resilience by jumping back with a new article! And what does this show.....come on....take a guess......well......ok fine...let me tell u myself.....that I have found some (read -a lot) of time to waste!!! So it is only natural on my part to expect you to waste atleast half the time that I did, by reading this :) . But if you beg to differ, you might as well read the entire article for you might do that faster than you actually close the browser and hang up your net connection (now thats a nice way to commit about the size of the article isnt it???!!!)
Anyways, todays episode will throw light on my tryst with fate....one of those dreaded days, which I would'nt want my worst adversary to face. Try as I might, I couldn't escape the situation, and knowing that I had few options, I had to bite the bullet. Reality was drawing closer, hauling its evil manifestations on me.....and the poor chap that I am, I was forced to take it without a choice. So trying not put up a big face, I took the job, and headed for it, with as heavy a heart as a policeman's paunch. (for those who were trying to figure out my nationality, this is the biggest clue that i could possibly have given!)

As you might be knowing, I have been working for a leading news channel, KDTV. For those who dont, refer to the previous sentence. Being in the media had always been my passion, and the goading factor throughout. I had wanted to cement a place for myself in the media, and everything was falling in place perfectly. I slowly climbed the corporate ladder, and was storming my way through to the top. It was at this junture, that my head assigned me the task of coming up with a new TV show- "TR's Advocate" (TR is probably the best replacement :) ). The most difficult part of the show was that I had to anchor it. Thinking that it was an opportunity to display my skills, I grabbed it with both hands and shot on with it. Call it beginners luck or otherwise, the show was a grand hit, with the TRP ratings surging to an all time high. I thought that I was one of those elite few, who were lucky enough to be blessed by God; as I realised subsequently, it wasnt to be. For due to the evil twist of fate, the whole scenario changed, for the worse.

It was the same old friday morning, but unfortunately for me, it was friday the 13th. My boss walked over to me, and handed over the name of the next celebrity that I was due to interview next. I looked at the paper, and was shell shocked! For a moment I was wondering if my boss was in good standing, as he had recently made a visit to Bihar :) . But unfortunately for me, I had no other choice but to carry out what he said, and hence I made arrangements for the show, my rendezvouz with a rhino, and in short, my date with disaster.......

The stage was set, the lights glowed like they had never before, as if trying to signify that this could well be my swan song. The chairs were arranged, and the cameras were fixed with as much precision as could have been possible. I tried to get in terms with reality, and bottling down my fear, patiently waited at the entrance, for the guest of the day. Suddenly, a helicopter swerved its way into the scene. Out came a hideous, gigantic figure, with a parachute. I was wondering why one should jump out of a helicopter with a parachute, when it had landed. The answer to my question was the guest himself, and his heroics, that had made him stand apart from the rest (literally!!!). Fearing further complications, we hurriedly ushered him to the studios, let alone the fact that he insisted that his helicopter be brought inside as well!!!

"Ladies and gentlemen.... I take great pleasure in inviting you all to yet another episode of TR's advocate"........I started with my croacky voice......."and today's guest, needs no introduction. He has occupied the hearts of several people in this country (which a study says is the major reason for the increase in the number of heart attacks), and is continuing his success run in the feild of politics as well. Yes Ladies and gentlemen, it is none other than our beloved star, Mr.Gabbbtan" :) :) (name changed on repeated request). I then started interviewing him, the excerpts of which are given below. It was one of the most painful interviews for me, though it may appear to be on the contrary for you people.

Rahul Raghavan: Good evening sir, its a pleasure having you on our show.
Gabbbtan: I will say the welcome in the tamizh.... vannakam...ammmhhh

RR: (however you might want to).. hmmm...so sir, how did the calamity all begin.... I mean.. how did u enter the silver screen?
GB: I am that time the small kid. That time I see MGR......he white..I black......I get feeling to act.......I jump into scene......ammmhhh.

Note: Sorry to interrupt, but I guess "ammmhhh" is going to be recognised as the most used word in English, or in something close to English :) :)

RR: Oh that was an amazing flashback sir.......so you decided to get in (much to the consternation of all of us)..so how was your career at first?
GB: I get no career at start, then I thought I become a comedian, then No. I am then act slowly to become a good fighter, then I am flying and hitting the all. People see, they the very happy. I am also the happy. Then I become a big man. ammmhhh

RR: (literally yes!!) Oh so dropped the idea of becoming a comedian is it....but do you think people would buy that ?
GB: People are poor, they cant the buy of food, vegetables in this country. There is 44343423 tons of food that is the manufacture, 67989 ton is the reach of the people, where is the rest, who done the damage? ammmhhh....

RR: Sir, let me remind you that you are digressing......I think....
GB: (interrupting) You are rich man, you talk about tiger and tigeress (!!!!!!), but my poor people in the slums of Chennai.......ammmhhh

RR: (Oru Ezhavum puriya maatengardu ivanukku) Oh.. I am sorry sir , I should have known. But do tell me sir, how did you take criticisms?
GB: "Sorry". In english the only the word that I hate. I am people man. I am not single.(!!!!) People do me the understand. I do them the understand. Why you middle interrupt. I dont see any bad bad criticism in newspaper. ammmhhh

RR: Except for the fact that you choose not to... Here sir.- this is the review of the film "NaSimma". that killed 10 people at one shot, and made over 50 people get to the ICU.
GB: Oh that is.....that is... it is the peoples that I hit in the film no...... so they are the big hit by me.so they in the hospital........ammmhhh

RR: I am sorry sir, its quite on the contrary, they were the people who could'nt bear seeing your impalpable stunts!
GB: I am the established actor in cinema.....and these people see me, and get jealousy. Thats why, to warn them I the act in thavasi. ammmhhh

RR: Hmmm, not to mention that it was a greater typhoon. But tell me sir, on what basis do you perform those unimaginable stunts. You might as well have starred in those vittalacharya films?
GB: Vittalacharya all horror film. I am the take of country-feeling films(!!!!) So he the different, I the different. ammmhhh

RR: Correct me if I am wrong sir, why would you be the only person in the whole of India to tame a group of deadly terrorists?
GB: I am the lot of advantage. Terrorist see me, they are the faint. Terrorist see me closer, they are the heart attack. Terrorist see me in the close up, they are the dead body. Because, according to simma pinal code, I am the current emitter. ammmhhh

RR: Oh I see......but sir, dont you think there should be atleast an iota of logic in these stunts?
GB: Right from the beginning, our party is the against of POTA and is the campaign for quota. So there is logic.

RR: (what the hell.!!!! why did I have to use Iota there??) Oh point well taken sir...... I should..
GB: (interrupting) I am the nice man. I am the true honest man. I didnt take anything from you now...what is...

RR: (its my turn to interrupt now) Oh sorry sir, I meant something else. So cinema first...why politics?
GB: I am the already say I am the very very same to MGR. He the white. I the black. So he the politics enter. I the politics enter.

RR: But he the chief minister (oh shit!!! this virus is contagious!!!) But he swept the polls sir.......you barely managed a seat.
GB: This is first election. I the win 1 seat. Time goes.....I become chief minister one day. I am the win surely.

RR: What is it that you'd do, should that happen (Hope it doesnt!) ?
GB: In tamilnadu, there are 234 constituencies. In that there are 49067690585 people the whole Tamilnadu. There, in it, there is the 12069606 people of the my support. But still, only the 56079867 peoples get of good food, the water, the air, the oxygen. I am the one day get TN first in the al India, then I become the chief minister of entire India. Then I fight of with pakistan terrorists. Then I go to afghanistan and bring osama. Then I duet with Shamita shetty. ammmhhh

RR: (Nonsense at its level best!!) Ok sir, I think we are running out of time. It was a great pleasue (finishing the interview) talking to you sir.
GB: That is why I the tell you to buy helicopter. No need for the running. In this show, there was the time for 45 minutes. In that you the speak for 16.45 minutes. That nice lady advertisement for the 3 minutes. Then the other ads for 13.25 minutes and.......(he goes on blabbering)......

So from that onwards, I loathed the show like never before........I had no words to express my displeasure.........at the end of it......I would say.......I am happy to have entertained you atleast :)

So shall meet you all with yet another posting........

Till then,
Bye!

Disclaimer : All characters are fictitious. Any resemblences to real life characters are supposedly coincidental [:d]