Present Imperfect, Future Tense
Hi all!
This blog of mine has almost attained the status of the Indian Parliament- with its MPs attending sessions about 2-3 times a year, at the most. Similarly, blogging these days has become a rarity for me, and I update this blog just about a couple of times a year!
Now that 'parliamentary' introduction was to give this article an initial smell of politics, as this concoction is going to be one of my commentaries on the current, sad state of affairs prevailing in my 'Mahaan' country. However, as always, let's not get too syrupy about it, as it wont do any good to either you or me, and so let's take a comical look at things :)
By now, I guess you should have got wind of what is about to follow. Yes- it is about the quota issue in India, that's stoked the dying fire, yet again. It is tough to think of what the repercussions of this might be, now and in the future. The answer to the first part is very simple, at least from a practical perspective- the UPA will, in all probability sweep the polls next year. The second part however, is something that will demand a more complex answer, and it is the aspiring student, from the so called 'OC', who will be bearing the brunt.
Given that democracy is nothing but a game of numbers, I think that such an initiative by the government was impending, because this is probably the only substantial thing that they will have on their "report card" at the end of 5 years for the tuklaq-raj UPA government. I don't know whether the move was really intended to benefit the underprivileged, but one thing that I will put all my money on in the fact that this will surely benefit the UPA's vote bank.
It is indeed surprising that anyone would think of reservation at the IITs and IIMs without refining the education system at the grass roots' level, simply because of the fact that to be able to cope with the standard at that level would require a very strong foundation. This infact reminds me of one of Vadivel's banters, wherein he says "building strong basement weak". Another very interesting yet sad thing to be noted is the plight of those who are weak monetarily, but are unable to pursue their studies because they are from the OC category. I do not know what the government has to say about this; they would however want to say that these people don't account for the bulk of the vote bank.
Lost in thought, I was trying to come to grips with the move. What could be the after-bands that it carries with it? While I knew that I would never be able to answer these at least now, I also knew that it would be more fun to let my imaginations work. So here is what I think will be India, in the years to come. Reservations will be implemented in all walks of life. In order to be unprovocative, let's use two broad classes- C1 and C2 to denote the different categories in India.
Disclaimer: All ramblings below are purely imaginary, and the reader is advised to take things in the lighter sense. Otherwise, feel free to break your comp monitor so as to vent your anger and send the bills to your dad! :P
Reservation in Cricket:
Rules modified in the Benson and Hedges book of Rules, in accordance with the bill passed in parliament on Feb 31, 2010. Transcripts taken from the same:
In the army:
To be fair, the government has decided to give preference to C1 candidates here, whereby there will be 56% reservation for C1 candidates. A note shall be sent to all countries whom our country is at war with, asking them to attack C1 candidates first, as they are more in number, and subsequently the C2 guys.
Trains, buses and other modes of transport:
85% "seats" and berths are reserved for C2 passengers. However, the benevolent government has decided to reserve 100% space on the bus-tops for C1 passengers. Violators shall be dealt with severely.
Educational institutions:
The current trend is to follow indefinitely. However, to be just, the system shall be monitored constantly, and efforts shall be made to keep all sections of the society happy. This shall be done by increasing the number of seats by a count of 100 each year(as long as there is enough wood in this country to make chairs), and decreasing the number of instructors by 1 each year, until the point is reached wherein there are no professors in the institution, and the institution consists of students, and students alone. This is because the government strongly believes in the constitution(which can be modified anytime by the government itself), which says "by the people; for the people", where "people" here refers to the students. The public must understand the noble intentions of the government which endeavors to instill individuality in students by making them learn on their own.
Politics:
No reservation is possible here, as this is already a reserved sector, reserved for people extremely low on gray cells. For additional information on this, please refer to our recruitment policy by contacting Kilpauk mental hospital, Chennai. Also note that we are an equal opportunity employer!
So thats it guys- I sincerely hope this is NOT what India is, in the days to come, and wish the system benefits the truly underprivileged people of India, who need a push from behind.
Signing off,
Bye!
This blog of mine has almost attained the status of the Indian Parliament- with its MPs attending sessions about 2-3 times a year, at the most. Similarly, blogging these days has become a rarity for me, and I update this blog just about a couple of times a year!
Now that 'parliamentary' introduction was to give this article an initial smell of politics, as this concoction is going to be one of my commentaries on the current, sad state of affairs prevailing in my 'Mahaan' country. However, as always, let's not get too syrupy about it, as it wont do any good to either you or me, and so let's take a comical look at things :)
By now, I guess you should have got wind of what is about to follow. Yes- it is about the quota issue in India, that's stoked the dying fire, yet again. It is tough to think of what the repercussions of this might be, now and in the future. The answer to the first part is very simple, at least from a practical perspective- the UPA will, in all probability sweep the polls next year. The second part however, is something that will demand a more complex answer, and it is the aspiring student, from the so called 'OC', who will be bearing the brunt.
Given that democracy is nothing but a game of numbers, I think that such an initiative by the government was impending, because this is probably the only substantial thing that they will have on their "report card" at the end of 5 years for the tuklaq-raj UPA government. I don't know whether the move was really intended to benefit the underprivileged, but one thing that I will put all my money on in the fact that this will surely benefit the UPA's vote bank.
It is indeed surprising that anyone would think of reservation at the IITs and IIMs without refining the education system at the grass roots' level, simply because of the fact that to be able to cope with the standard at that level would require a very strong foundation. This infact reminds me of one of Vadivel's banters, wherein he says "building strong basement weak". Another very interesting yet sad thing to be noted is the plight of those who are weak monetarily, but are unable to pursue their studies because they are from the OC category. I do not know what the government has to say about this; they would however want to say that these people don't account for the bulk of the vote bank.
Lost in thought, I was trying to come to grips with the move. What could be the after-bands that it carries with it? While I knew that I would never be able to answer these at least now, I also knew that it would be more fun to let my imaginations work. So here is what I think will be India, in the years to come. Reservations will be implemented in all walks of life. In order to be unprovocative, let's use two broad classes- C1 and C2 to denote the different categories in India.
Disclaimer: All ramblings below are purely imaginary, and the reader is advised to take things in the lighter sense. Otherwise, feel free to break your comp monitor so as to vent your anger and send the bills to your dad! :P
Reservation in Cricket:
Rules modified in the Benson and Hedges book of Rules, in accordance with the bill passed in parliament on Feb 31, 2010. Transcripts taken from the same:
- Atleast 11 players in the playing eleven should be from C2. Super-subs allowed, but 55% reserved for C2 again.
- (58.1322*pi/3) % overs reserved for C2 players, meaning that C1 players(if any) can't bat for more than (100-(58.1322*pi/3))% overs. The same rule applies to the bowling department as well. This was modified later as per the recommendations of the Melee committee, that suggested that the number of overs be increased from 50 to 148 so as to accommodate this change. The number of umpires in the game will be increased from 3 to 30.
- A C2 player is allowed no more than 5 chances per innings. This means that he/she wont be allowed to get out more than 5 times in 1 (one) innings. On the other hand, to facilitate this, C1 players shall not be allowed to appeal more than 5 times per innings.
- This system will be periodically assayed every five(5) months to see if it is successful, in the event of which it will implemented in all the 8 international test playing nations.
In the army:
To be fair, the government has decided to give preference to C1 candidates here, whereby there will be 56% reservation for C1 candidates. A note shall be sent to all countries whom our country is at war with, asking them to attack C1 candidates first, as they are more in number, and subsequently the C2 guys.
Trains, buses and other modes of transport:
85% "seats" and berths are reserved for C2 passengers. However, the benevolent government has decided to reserve 100% space on the bus-tops for C1 passengers. Violators shall be dealt with severely.
Educational institutions:
The current trend is to follow indefinitely. However, to be just, the system shall be monitored constantly, and efforts shall be made to keep all sections of the society happy. This shall be done by increasing the number of seats by a count of 100 each year(as long as there is enough wood in this country to make chairs), and decreasing the number of instructors by 1 each year, until the point is reached wherein there are no professors in the institution, and the institution consists of students, and students alone. This is because the government strongly believes in the constitution(which can be modified anytime by the government itself), which says "by the people; for the people", where "people" here refers to the students. The public must understand the noble intentions of the government which endeavors to instill individuality in students by making them learn on their own.
Politics:
No reservation is possible here, as this is already a reserved sector, reserved for people extremely low on gray cells. For additional information on this, please refer to our recruitment policy by contacting Kilpauk mental hospital, Chennai. Also note that we are an equal opportunity employer!
So thats it guys- I sincerely hope this is NOT what India is, in the days to come, and wish the system benefits the truly underprivileged people of India, who need a push from behind.
Signing off,
Bye!
posted by Rahul Raghavan at
8:34 PM
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