Colossal Waste of 2+ hours!

Hello all,

As I witnessed the passage of another summer, I can’t get myself to think of anything productive that has happened during this period but for the fact that I have aged by another 3 months. But given that a completely utilitarian view of things will only reveal my real age, I choose to put an end to this topic. :)

This post of mine is going to be one that will serve to review a recent Tamil flick, Dasavatharam. Now I guess most of you would be wondering as to why this has come up so late, almost 2 months since the release of this film. All your doubts, and much more, will be clarified as you continue reading this review. I am no Rajiv Masand, and so don’t expect a 360-degree view of things, but I have tried to cover as many aspects as I possibly could have, in writing this.

However, unlike most reviews, this is NOT going to be a long, listless rigmarole about the pluses and the minuses of the film. Instead, I have attempted to present some FAQ’s about the film. Read on…

What does Dasavatharam mean?

Dasavatharam is a compounded term, which derives its meaning from dash, which in Sanskrit means ten, and avatar, which means incarnation. In attempting to “Tamilize” the term, the ‘SH’ (‘SH’ as in sharp) becomes ‘SA’ (‘SA’ as in sample). It is strongly believed that Kamalhaasan, the hero of the film, who gets to decide on everything about the film including where in the city posters need to be put up, may have been nice enough to give the producer of the film some financial reprieve, by giving his assent to name the film in Tamil. I take this opportunity to appreciate Mr.Kamal’s benevolence.

Is the film about mythology?

Dashavatharam originally points to the Hindu mythology, which is about the ten avatars of Lord Vishnu. I am not really sure as to why they chose to name the film so. It’s probably because Kamal acted in 10 different roles (most of which were unnecessary, but that’s a different issue). The film has nothing to do with mythology for the most of it, but Kamal uses some of it to his convenience, so that he can take a dig at something that he claims is illogical.

Wow! One man doing ten roles! That’s great isn’t it??

Ofcourse! It’s simply awesome! I mean it’s just awesome! I was thoroughly disappointed that Kamal didn’t do Asin’s (supposedly the heroine of the film) role too. It would have been great had Kamal done ALL the roles in the film, given that there is enough technology to make it a reality, and the whole endeavor was just to make it to the record books. Maybe I should write to Kamal asking him to make a film on Mahabharatha, another Hindu epic, so that Kamal will have the chance of acting as Dhuryodhana, and since he is said to have 99 brothers, Kamal will enjoy doing all the other 99 characters as well. Added to that is the joy of getting his name into the Guinness book and in Gigantic font on the theatre screen, as being the first and only actor in the world to have acted in 100 different roles; one couldn’t care any less.

So if it’s not mythology based, what is the film on?

Excellent question; probably worth more than a million dollars. But even if you were to give me that amount, I don’t think I can answer this question, because I myself haven’t figured out as to what Kamal is trying to drive home. I could see that he was trying to weave a very complex web and trying to involve all the 10 different characters in the story. The film develops as a flashback, and we get to see all the 10 avatars of Kamal, one by one. But try as you might, you will never be able to understand what he tries to convey. You might consider it worthwhile to ask the man himself, if he understood the crap he has churned out.

Kamal’s films can’t be understood by everyone. He always strives to give to the people some food for thought. Maybe you don’t understand the film- that why you talk ill of it; isn’t it?

Some people, who consider themselves to be intellectually very accomplished, have put forward theories such as the chaos theory, the Butterfly Effect and what not. It’s fascinating that they haven’t come up with another “elephantine” theory, given that there is a scene in the film which shows an elephant causing some chaos- maybe they will, when they get bored of these two theories. I however, belong to the other group of lesser mortals, who are modest enough to accept that they aren’t those intellectual buffs. Having said that, I think I am also different in that I have a little common sense, and I wouldn’t be so stupid to buy any baseless theory that these guys put across. Come on man! We are not duds! One can’t expect to output some nonsense and get away with it. But I must really appreciate the pains that these guys have taken to relate each of these characters (most of them irrelevant and inconsequential) to the avatars of Lord Vishnu; painstaking effort to be honest.

So you say it’s got nothing to do with any of these theories?

Well, my hunch is that Kamal, the self proclaimed rationalist that he is, has sought protection from science. Given that the proponents of his work will stand by him immaterial of whatever nonsense he comes up with, he can rest assured that his theories will be bought. He therefore talks of some butterfly effect, and has tried to stitch it up with a long and uncorrelated sequence of events. But in any case, people should never forget the concerted efforts of Kamal the actor, who did ten different, equally useless roles, in trying to weave a web which he claims is chaos theory. Well done sir!

Ok enough about Kamal. Tell me something more about the other people in the film.

You are missing the point, aren’t you? Any Kamal film will have about 99% Kamal’s involvement, starting from action till direction, if he does a single role, that is. The only other prominent person who gets involved in the film is the producer. Kamal believes in values, and for him charity begins at home; the producer’s home, that is. This film stars Kamal in 10 apparently different roles. So that would be 10 times 99 on a linear scale; out of 100, mind you. So it becomes rather illogical to even ask about others’ involvement. One can’t ofcourse possibly forget Asin’s contribution to the film. She has done her bit to perfection, in making the film still loath-worthy. She comes across as a nagging traditional girl from a community, that Kamal tries his level best to show in bad light. As expected, she falls in love with him, inspite of nagging him throughout the film. Kahani mein twist; but we as the audience already know that the twist was impending, so a double twist restores the original posture. I also should mention about Mallika Sherawat, who I guess considers it a crime to wear decent clothing. She moves around with the American Kamal, only to be killed in the middle. In retrospect, it makes perfect sense; she already gets done with her item number for the film, isn’t it? As for the music, Himesh Reshammaiya has done a great job in living up to his expectations; the score was horrible. I was thinking that he would probably fool everyone with some good songs; Looks like he believes in values too. The least important part of the film is its director, as everyone knows he would have done nothing more than remaining a silent spectator. My commendations to him; he hasn’t cheated me either. On the whole, it was a very “honest” film, as expected, no surprises, same old crap with some new flavor.

How was it to see one man do ten roles in the film?

It was great. It was exciting. It was funny. In fact, I had great fun in trying to identify all the 10 roles. I initially thought that the monkey that comes at the beginning was one of the roles, but then was disappointed to know that it wasn’t the case. I still have this doubt as to why he chose to do Bush’s role. Maybe because that would give him an opportunity to speak his butler English, but I thought that he already had a chance to do that with the other villain role. In any case, it was real fun to try and identify each of his ten roles. I got so much involved with it that when I left the theatre I was “seeing” things, so much that I could see Kamal in everyone right from the watchman till the bus driver. Maybe he succeeded in what he wanted to do- make himself omnipresent. In doing all this, he has forgotten to do one thing; something that should have been the most important part of the film. He hasn’t established as to what the hero of the film is trying to do. Maybe that seems trivial to Kamal, who nevertheless takes utmost care in pulling one of those narcissistically flavored dialogues that he is “the universal hero”.

Why are you publishing this review so damn late?

Well, please take it that this is my way of showing disregard to a film that I felt lacked any substance. I was waiting till I got bored beyond a point, and then started writing about some useless topic. Couldn’t get myself to think of a better fit for my requirements than this film. :)

So what are your closing comments?

Close your computer screen and do something more productive than reading a useless review about a still useless film.

So that’s it for now guys. See you later!

Bye!